Guidelines on being an LSU Fan

LSU Tiger Football Rules: They should NEVER be broken:

1. Never schedule anything important on a day LSU is

scheduled to play football.

There are typically 353 other days of the year to do

those things on. Choose one of them!

2. Never attend a wedding during a LSU football game

unless you carry a TV... and watch it during the

ceremony and reception. 

3. It is against the rules to not wear purple and gold

on ANY game day. More points go to those wearing

football jerseys, hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, pants,

boxers, jewelry, and jackets, preferably all at the

same time. Good old purple and gold always works

especially if it's old school stuff from your LSU

days. Anything else is always gay.

4. Always and I mean ALWAYS, return any "GEAUX" with a

hearty "TIGERS!" This is true even during funerals,

in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth

of your child.

5. Every vehicle you see while driving that contains

an Ole Miss or Alabama sticker should be honked at and asked to stop driving. To be on the safe side, do this to

every car with a Mississippi or Alabama license plate.

6. When Florida plays Auburn , it is mandatory to

despise both teams. There are no winners.

7. You cannot have a second favorite football team

behind LSU. You are only permitted to have another

team that you hate the least.

8. It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up)

during the following:

Your child's first LSU game

When the band plays the Alma Mater, Hey Fighting

Tiger, Hey Baby, or Touchdown for LSU!

When you hear "THE GOLDEN BAND FROM TIGERLAND!!"

Watching the sun rise after a night game in Tiger

Stadium

Anytime anyone mentions Brady Quinn and 23rd pick or

USC and loss in the same sentence.

LSU winning the National Championship

9. Always take off your hat during the Alma Mater and

physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity

who fails to do so.

10. Tailgating is mandatory. And by tailgating, you

must be cooking by 6:00 AM . This includes

both home and away games.

11. When you die, you must have at least one item of

LSU memorabilia with you. 

12. Your children should be taught to let you know

when they "have to take a War Eagle" to then flush it

around the bowl and down the hole "Roll Tide Roll."

13. You are forbidden to fall for the National Media

sandwich that Bear Bryant was a "good guy." In

reality, he was a bitter old man, a cheater and

referee-baiter. The program's credibility went south

forever when Bama hired Nick Saban to resurrect their

sorry football program.

14. Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any

game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at

risk.

15. Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to

survive the summer.

16. Try to never boo a former or current LSU football

player who is playing in the NFL. But as always you

can boo any player who once played against LSU with

all of your might. (ie, Rex Grossman)

17. ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every

opportunity. Note: Lou Holtz still thinks Notre Dame

was better than LSU in the 2007 Sugar Bowl.

18. Hang a LSU flag outside of your house every day.

If any of your neighbors counter this with a

Florida/Ole Miss flag, it is your solemn duty to tear

it down and deface it anyway you see fit.

19. It is important to consider the "good old days"

ARE NOW. Enjoy them!!!!!

And GEAUX........! (if you said nothing after that...

see rule #4!