LSU Tiger Football Rules: They should NEVER be broken:
1. Never schedule anything important on a day LSU is
scheduled to play football.
There are typically 353 other days of the year to do
those things on. Choose one of them!
2. Never attend a wedding during a LSU football game
unless you carry a TV... and watch it during the
ceremony and reception.
3. It is against the rules to not wear purple and gold
on ANY game day. More points go to those wearing
football jerseys, hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, pants,
boxers, jewelry, and jackets, preferably all at the
same time. Good old purple and gold always works
especially if it's old school stuff from your LSU
days. Anything else is always gay.
4. Always and I mean ALWAYS, return any "GEAUX" with a
hearty "TIGERS!" This is true even during funerals,
in foreign countries or when witnessing the birth
of your child.
5. Every vehicle you see while driving that contains
an Ole Miss or Alabama sticker should be honked at and asked to stop driving. To be on the safe side, do this to
every car with a Mississippi or Alabama license plate.
6. When Florida plays Auburn , it is mandatory to
despise both teams. There are no winners.
7. You cannot have a second favorite football team
behind LSU. You are only permitted to have another
team that you hate the least.
8. It is OK to be emotional (and even "tear" up)
during the following:
Your child's first LSU game
When the band plays the Alma Mater, Hey Fighting
Tiger, Hey Baby, or Touchdown for LSU!
When you hear "THE GOLDEN BAND FROM TIGERLAND!!"
Watching the sun rise after a night game in Tiger
Anytime anyone mentions Brady Quinn and 23rd pick or
USC and loss in the same sentence.
LSU winning the National Championship
9. Always take off your hat during the Alma Mater and
physically remove the hats of anyone in your vicinity
who fails to do so.
10. Tailgating is mandatory. And by tailgating, you
must be cooking by 6:00 AM . This includes
both home and away games.
11. When you die, you must have at least one item of
LSU memorabilia with you.
12. Your children should be taught to let you know
when they "have to take a War Eagle" to then flush it
around the bowl and down the hole "Roll Tide Roll."
13. You are forbidden to fall for the National Media
sandwich that Bear Bryant was a "good guy." In
reality, he was a bitter old man, a cheater and
referee-baiter. The program's credibility went south
forever when Bama hired Nick Saban to resurrect their
sorry football program.
14. Recruiting must be followed as intensely as any
game. This is true even if it puts your job/career at
15. Attend the Spring Game. It makes it easier to
survive the summer.
16. Try to never boo a former or current LSU football
player who is playing in the NFL. But as always you
can boo any player who once played against LSU with
all of your might. (ie, Rex Grossman)
17. ESPN employees must be verbally taunted at every
opportunity. Note: Lou Holtz still thinks Notre Dame
was better than LSU in the 2007 Sugar Bowl.
18. Hang a LSU flag outside of your house every day.
If any of your neighbors counter this with a
Florida/Ole Miss flag, it is your solemn duty to tear
it down and deface it anyway you see fit.
19. It is important to consider the "good old days"
ARE NOW. Enjoy them!!!!!
And GEAUX........! (if you said nothing after that...
see rule #4!